Lee McDowell Christian
Ministries LMCM
Nacogdoches,
Texas Gal. 2:20 KJV
Thoughts
on Michael Wells’ teachings in My Weakness for His Strength - # 42
Michael’s book is
available through:
Abiding Life
Ministries International
Littleton, Colorado
(303) 972-0859 almi@abidinglife.com
It is one thing to be a
procrastinator. It is another to be an
“avoider.” Michael shows how “avoiding,”
in the context of all that is spoken of, is really unacceptable.
DAY 217
Our Reality is Jesus
For by Him all
things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible,
whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been
created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things
hold together. --Colossians 1:16,
17
I
have often spoken of my trip to the interior of the Amazon with my brother when
we met a man who was only a head. Yes, it is true, only a head. The rest of his
body was no bigger than a book, with no arms, legs, or the appearance of a
stomach. He was a head. Many see his photo and are as vexed as I was the day
that I first laid eyes on him. We all wonder, “How would I cope with no legs or
arms?” But for him it is not all that vexing, since it is his reality; it is
how he was born, and he knows nothing different. It would be another matter had
he been born fully formed until an accident turned him into that condition.
Today you, too, have a reality, a life
that is all that you know, and one you believe to be very rich
and full. If you had the opportunity to
live just one moment in full abiding, you would find your life, your reality,
to be terrible, nothing more than a shadow of what you could experience.
You have only touched the hem of His garment, so to speak. To know Him in the power of His
resurrection and to be like Him in His death, and then to accept how you live
today would be intolerable.
There is surprisingly little written within the Christian
community concerning the division Christ brings in families.
In contrast, much is said about the need for forgiveness, understanding, varied
personalities in relationships, coping with the controlling in-law, showing Christ's
love, being long-suffering, and witnessing to the lost in the family. All of
the aforementioned have their place and merit, but why neglect Jesus' statement
that He came to bring a sword, that He would set parent against child, and
child against parent (Matthew 10:34-37)? These words are neatly overlooked, and
those who have found the sword operating in their own family have also found
themselves being judged by other Christians as being less spiritual. When there
are hiccups in the relationships of the spiritual person, the occasion is often
used to look for something "deep" that is wrong with him. Because of such pressure from
others who maintain that conflict-free relationships are proof of spirituality,
many throw their own bodies in front of the sword that Christ would wield,
remaining in miserable relationships and attempting to improve the flesh-life
of others by pandering to it. In choosing to appear to be "conflict free," they are
creating a lifetime of needless struggle with those who walk in the flesh.
It is my contention that Christ is more glorified through
a believer's deliverance before an event than in the event.
If the truth were told in all relationships, we would find ourselves delivered
years earlier than when we compromise and concede in order to preserve a false
peace.
"I have a
mother who continues to attempt to control my family. What am I to do?"
"I have a father-in-law who dominates all our family time; how are we to
respond?" "My mother has a terrible marriage, so she gives all of her
attention to my children. She smothers them and questions every decision I make
concerning them. How does a Christian act in that setting?" "My
parents will not work and insist on staying with us for prolonged periods. The
stress is eating me up. What is your suggestion?" "My wife can never
visit my parents' home without being criticized and maligned. What can I do to
help?" What is our response to be to our relatives who are carnal,
immature, and/or controlling? With the foundational principle at work of loving and praying for our
enemies, we are first of all to tell the truth. The believer is not commanded
to be silent concerning the carnal behavior of others, but only not to judge
the persons engaging in that behavior. The epistles are written as an expression of the truth, and
yet they do not judge the persons involved in the various wrong behaviors as
worthless no-hopers. My wife has made many observations about my
behavior that were helpful. She was not using those observations to say she was
leaving me. I knew she loved me, was committed to me, and was staying. A
brother once told me something about my behavior that he did not believe I
would "swallow." He said, "Do with the information what you
want; I will love you all the same." Taking up the cross and denying self will lead believers
to tell the truth about another's behavior as the Spirit leads regardless of
the conflict and rejection from which they might rather wish to escape.
Have we told our mother, father, sister, brother, or child the truth about his
or her behavior, or have we lied through our silence in order to avoid
conflict? The sword will
either cut away the flesh and bring freedom, as it did for me when my friend
told me something that he did not think I would swallow; or it will cut away a
carnal relationship when the truth is not received and the person disappears
because he only tolerates relationships wherein self and performance reign, not
truth. When we take the time and trouble to point out error in someone
we love and we are rejected, the rejection is very revealing. For instance, if
one of us waited five years to tell the truth, and we are rejected, it demonstrates
that the previous five years of pandering to the flesh accomplished nothing.
The truth could just as easily have been told the first day and the whole mess
gotten out of the way. As
the person to whom the truth was told continues to justify himself, tell others
his story of being abused and unappreciated, label the truth-teller accusing
and condemning, and even question the truth-teller’s mental state and
commitment to the Lord, we will know the right decision was made to tell the
truth. The truth is cutting
that one off from false brethren as only truth can, moving all things to their
proper place.
I want to stop and make an important distinction in
regard to those you, as a believer, consider to be family.
Do you find it easier to tell
those at work the truth about their behavior than family members? Is it easier
for you to accept the rejection of a brother or sister in Christ than an
earthly brother or sister? If you answered yes, then there is a fundamental
problem of your having forgotten to which family you primarily belong, the
family with whom you became one through your true birth. Jesus reminds us that
we are His family many times, such as when He said, "If they have
called the head of the house Beelzebub, how much more THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD?"
(Matthew 10:25). Your earthly family does not get special treatment simply so
you can avoid rocking the boat! Because of the fear of rejection, it can take years to learn to love
walking in truth, but it must be done! It is time to tell the truth about the controlling
mother, the interrupting visits, the conflicting messages to the grandchildren,
the alcoholism, and the divided home. Remember, I have already stated that we
have no excuse not to love. Therefore, in one hand we carry love, and in the other, truth. Say
the truth in love and let it divide, as it must. It is time!
A question might
immediately come to mind: “What if I am wrong about my assessments?” Remember that if you pray before you
speak, God is participating in your conversation. Also, if you are
wrong, just as you have no excuse not to love, neither does the one to whom you
are talking (even if he is an unbeliever).
It is valid to be vexed spiritually about the behavior of
others. However, there is a deeper discomfort that comes from being silent about
that behavior. Is it time to say something to your child that is
involved in fornication? "I will be here for you, but not there for you. I
disapprove of your behavior." Is it time to say to the controlling
mother-in-law, "I will be judged for the success of this family;
therefore, I will take the responsibility. Enough advice, manipulation, and
control"? Is it time to say to the alcoholic father, "No more
attending the Christmas party drunk and disruptive. I have decided to set a different
example for my children"? Has the day arrived to tell the parent who calls
to report all the marital and financial problems, "Why are you talking to
me? Talk to the person I have to talk to when in turmoil; talk to Jesus. Good
bye"? Christians are not
called to a life of compromise.
When you confront your family member, you will in all
likelihood be rejected. When a child is told for the first
time he cannot have candy after throwing a fit, he throws a bigger fit. Expect your family member to throw
a fit. However, you must stand fast or you will create a monster. The end
result may be years of isolation from your family, with your only consolation
being that you told the truth. Expect the enemy to whisper, "What kind of
Christian are you? You are keeping that person from salvation, and you must
honor your father and mother." Do not listen. There is no greater honor shown those who
begot you than walking in truth, and no one can blame not having a walk with
Christ on the behavior of another. You are a Christian who allowed Christ to
wield His sword in your relationships.
To act on family matters is a faith act.
Faith decisions are not
made easier with time, for they are the same today, one year from now, or ten
years from now. Time is never a variable. How long have you waited to
tell the truth? Could it be that today is the fullness of time? When you do,
things may not improve in the life of the carnal. However, you can get on
making your family an example of Christ without interruption and turmoil. Do
it! Decide what is right for
your family, in Christ, and tell the truth. Let the division come if it must.
(underlining is my emphasis – Lee)
“Faith decisions.” I love that reality, don’t you? God never takes away our choices. And the biggest
choice I have to make is always: will I believe God, or not?
How many times have I
“avoided” making a “faith decision,” when ultimately I still had to make it?!?
I don’t think I would
recognize a mulberry bush if I saw one, but there was an old saying when I was
a kid…”If you keep doing what you are doing and don’t change, God will run you
around that mulberry bush again and again until you decide to do things
differently.” I grew up wanting to avoid
the mulberry bush! I wonder how many
Christians are chasing a “faith decision” around a mulberry bush…and how long
have they been doing so???
Oh, yes…don’t forget to
pray before you speak…surely you want God participating in your
conversation. He will.
Yellow – VIP, Very Important Point Green
– IT, Incredible Truth
Red – GP, Greatest Promises
Turquoise – UR, Unfathomable Riches Pink
– PV, Priceless Victory
Lee McDowell Christian Ministries
P. O. Box 633244 Nacogdoches, Tx 75963 936-559-5696
