Thoughts on Michael
Wells’ teachings in My Weakness for His Strength (Vol. 1) - # 360
Michael’s book is
available through:
ABIDING LIFE MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL
Littleton, Colorado
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In this day’s writing Michael points to two
extremes that many take in using the natural
mind. This can occur in either lost
man or Born Again man. Consider
all Michael shares, and see who you can “recognize” in his descriptions…
Then pause to think of what the Mind of Christ in
those Born Again should be embracing.
DAY 309
Up and Out
Versus the Down and Out
Jesus said to them, “Truly I say to you
that the tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the kingdom of God before
you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe
him; but the tax collectors and prostitutes did believe him; and you, seeing
this, did not even feel remorse afterward so as to believe him.” --Matthew 21:31 & 32
When Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of
good and evil, mankind became divided into two classes. Those who chose
to emphasize the good are classed as self-righteous, or as I like to call it, the Up
and Out. Those whose focus became evil became the unrighteous, or rather,
the Down
and Out. Jesus
also divided fallen humanity into these two categories. Luke 18: 9-14,
“To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on
everybody else, Jesus told this parable: ‘Two men went up to the temple to
pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and
prayed about himself: “God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers,
evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and
give a tenth of all I get.” But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would
not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, “God, have mercy on
me, a sinner.” I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home
justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he
who humbles himself will be exalted.’"
Some in their own estimation elevate
themselves above God; they look down on others, and they
effectively remove themselves from the Kingdom of God. Then there are those who see themselves as worms,
not daring to look up or move ahead; they, too, miss the Kingdom of God. In the
Christian life both types might as well still be meeting in the temple. I have
found it interesting during several hundred hours of discipleship with couples
to find so often in the conflicts both an Up and Outer and a Down
and Outer. The Down and Outers much more readily
admit their failures but are slow to make improvements because of an overall
pessimistic and inferior view of themselves.
I would like to describe the
characteristics of each before we move on to the resolution of the problem.
I have purposely exaggerated in some ways the attributes of Down
and Out and Up and Out in the hope that we can recognize the seed before it
becomes a deep-rooted tree in our lives. I also want to warn readers from the outset that
the purpose of the following descriptions is not so this article can be pointed
out to either the Up-and-Out or the Down-and-Out person. Anyone doing
that will have become the very thing that he or she despises! I am not in the
habit of eloquently delineating a problem and then not describing a way out, for the way out is the issue,
not only for the Up and Outer and the Down and Outer, but also for the
mate that must live with one.
The Down and Out are consumed
with themselves and their failures; they spend
prolonged hours dissecting their miserable plight and the role of others in
their condition. They use all surrounding circumstances, rejections, perceived
rebuffs, and personal failures to commit emotional suicide, for through dying
emotionally they relieve themselves of all responsibility to move ahead, look
honestly at complaints, or work at improving their plight. The Down and Out allow life
to live them. They are victims for whom life is barely worth living,
since the whole world is the adversary. Comfort comes from accepting their
miserable predicament of not being suited for living as well as from the belief
that others are simply born with the blessing of God. Confront this type of person and be prepared for
pouting and vengeance that come in the form of withdrawal, avoidance, refusal
to speak, fits of depression, inactivity, and self-punishment. If the Down
and Out are not really down and out, they will make sure that their
behavior is, as through passivity, drugs, alcohol, television, laziness, or a
variety of idols they make their outer life fit with their inner life. They are
procrastinators; because of all the feelings of inadequacy and failure,
responsibilities and jobs are postponed. The Down and Out cannot live with
themselves and therefore cannot live with anyone else. They give up on
relationships, for no amount of effort and self-sacrifice will work, so why
try? They are very difficult to live with. As their negative behavior
intensifies, first they want others to tell them that they are not really as
bad as they feel or as their behavior indicates (although no positive
affirmation will be believed). Second, they reject others before they can be
rejected. Third, they begin an affair with suicidal thoughts. Fourth, they then
begin to obsess on all the wrong that anyone has done to them, thus casting
blame and once again avoiding personal responsibility. Fifth, they begin to
justify their rebellion. No matter what form it takes, they are right in
participating. After all, there is no hope, no one who really cares, and there
is no need to fight, for they are already defeated. All of the above excuse
their lack of obedience concerning the fifth chapter of Matthew. In fact,
communicating with God always increases self-perception, but the Down
and Out have an excuse not to talk, for they surmise that God is not
interested in them. If He were, life would consistently be wonderful, with God
pandering to their every emotional up and down.
The Down and Out are the
worst of pessimists; lack of hope has produced a cynicism,
and why not? All hope is in themselves; they have not looked outside to God and
therefore find the discouragement that exists within all men who try to live
independently from their Creator. They do not look up before they act, but
rather look around. This assures that they are inconsistent, because decisions
are made depending upon the response of others to them. If the Down
and Out happen to be parents, they even look to the approval of
children before they act. Their motto is, “People-pleasing at any cost,”
although others' happiness is not the goal except insofar as it is useful in
raising their own self-esteem. Disgusting? I think so, and deep inside they
know so. Is it any wonder that the Down and Out are susceptible to the
enemy's attacks of suicide?
The Up and Outers are
self-righteous, self-reliant, self-centered, all knowing, and consumed with
looking at the failures of others. When a suggestion
is made to them that might lead to improvement, an explosion ensues. The Up and Out cannot take
any criticism, are not teachable, and believe that they possess more wisdom
than others and make better financial, family, personal, and spiritual
decisions. If only their plans were fully followed, they know that all
would go well. Though criticism is not tolerated, it is liberally and
generously meted out, and why not? They fully believe they are the standard for
all that is right! The Up
and Outers lack patience with others, and their approach to problem
resolution is for the other people to change. During a dialogue with Up
and Outers the topic at hand rarely gets talked through to its
conclusion. Instead, most of the time is spent on their examining what is said,
making sure that nothing could in any way be construed as shedding negative
light on them, for their lofty position over others must be maintained. Do not expect an apology from
the Up
and Outers or ready forgiveness if they have been offended, for in that
case they will sit on their throne awaiting penance until the wrongdoer is once
again deemed worthy. When a wife is an Up and Outer, myriad
covert messages are left for the husband, all intended to leave no shadow of
doubt in his mind that he is unacceptable, unspiritual, a failure as a father,
and the major annoyance in the family. When the Up-and-Out wife finally
succeeds in driving her husband away, this merely proves what was always said,
and now she is a victim who often expresses shock and surprise at the loss. Up
and Outers produce the mates that they have described, often under
their breath, for years. Those who give their best for years to their Up-and-Outer
mates and still come up short give up like adolescents and rebel. There is no
longer an incentive to try. Often while doing marriage discipleship I will ask
each mate to describe five things that he or she has personally done to bring
the marriage to a place of misery. The Up and Outers, even after as much as
forty years of marriage, can think of nothing. If I continue to press the issue
long enough, eventually a failure is mentioned, but immediately there is a
justification, such as, "I should not have listened to my mate," or
"If he had not been so carnal I would not have been driven to my
behavior." No shortcoming is claimed as theirs. UNBELIEVABLE! On a spiritual scale of one to ten, Up
and Outers view their mates as ones. Therefore, no matter how well a
failing mate does, it will never be enough, and it certainly does not merit
respect, physical affection, or support, even before the children. Ask the Up and Outers about their
righteousness and hear their superior tone as they enumerate their positives,
believing that they always walk in truth, act exactly as a Spirit-filled
believer should, and cannot think of a thing for which they should be embarrassed.
They struggle with the no-hopers to whom they are married and therefore
conclude that only Jesus can meet their needs, so they are free from the
expression of Matthew 5 in the marriage. They privately "marry" Jesus
and wait for heaven when they will be rid of the ball-and-chain and can get on
with heavenly living. They actually believe that on Judgment Day Jesus will
look at them and say, "You poor thing! How did you ever manage with such a
thorn in the flesh? Step aside while I chastise your mate." Disgusting? I
think so!
What
misery is produced when any combination of the above finds its way into the
dynamics within a marital relationship. Both soon feel hopeless, that they have
done their best, that the other has made their life less than abundant and more
frustrating, annoying, hopeless, and unfulfilling, while they feel abused,
misunderstood, condemned, trapped, mistaken, tired, weak, pointless, undone,
disillusioned, stupid, unappreciated, and cheated. All this despite what Jesus
said, "I came that you might have life, and have it abundantly." How?
When? Impossible? "Forget it! Keep it to Yourself! I am tired, and there
is nothing left within me, so leave me alone. Paul had more faith than I do,
but I have adjusted to that fact. Just let me coast out of life; I no longer
want to fix the problem. I will pour myself into my kids, the job, the hobby,
or the ministry; at least there is some satisfaction there if I cannot have
fulfillment." Can you imagine this type of person handing out tracts, attending
church, and witnessing to others? Well, the Church is full of them.
That cursed tree!
Who would have considered the
long-reaching results of eating from it? Our lives have become a living
hell, the source of which can be centered in another person's actions,
attitudes, words, affection, and verbal and non-verbal communication. Man
determines our destiny, our outlook on life, daily happiness, and even our
desire to live. Amazing. We
do not look to God; He is forgotten, He is distant, His behavior
inconsequential, His love neglected, His voice forgotten, and His power lost;
the Tree of Life eludes us.
What options remain?
Suicide, a new mate, seminars, long discussions on rejection, marriage
encounters, merely existing, counseling, convincing the others to change,
confessing our denial, positive thinking, the agreement of others, misery
support groups, Scripture memory, medication, hostility, obsessive analyzing,
separate bedrooms, or the constant overt punishing of a mate.
What is the way out?
The first step is critical, the foundation on which all others will be built.
We recognize that if the self-perception of the Up and Out were correct,
Jesus would not have had to come to earth. In fact, God could have waited two
thousand years and sent the Up and Outers to set things
straight. The same is true of the Down and Outers; if they were as
miserable and hopeless as they say, why would Jesus even come to die to redeem
them? The misery that we deal out to others and to ourselves has its roots in a
false self-perception.
Colossians
2:12: "Having been buried with Him in baptism, in which you were also
raised up with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the
dead." Jesus died for the Up and Out and the Down
and Out. We have been buried with Christ, and in Him we are something
different, we have received a new identity. We are now neither of the above,
for our righteousness is in Him, and Christ's righteousness appeals to all! As believers we are to repent of
both self-righteousness and unrighteousness, and then those are to be avoided
at all costs. We
now possess Him and therefore possess all. Our eyes no longer adjust to
the false light of self, but only to Him. Self-centeredness, no matter what the form, has no value.
Here are some steps out of
self-obsession.
1. Repent of self and of judgment toward self
and others.
2.
Spend a minimum of sixteen hours refusing all thoughts concerning self.
3. After a prolonged examination of those others
that make you miserable, or after examining your personal failure, go to a
mirror, stare at the bitter, angry, and frustrated person in the mirror, and
then break out laughing. Admit your stupidity.
4. Go back to the foundation of your life, which is not a teaching but
the person of Jesus. All that the Sermon on the Mount describes is
actually the Life you now possess.
5.
Repent of the
self-righteousness, the unrighteousness, or both in your life. Give
yourself no occasion for the flesh, no excuse for your lack of self- or
other-love! Take up the cross, deny self today, and release the new Life that
stands fast in the truth whether dealing with the Up and Out or the Down
and Out.
6. Put one foot in front of the other. Move toward Christ, remembering He
has loved you when you were an enemy of the truth. Now love those who are your
enemies.
When Jesus was forsaken and denied,
He did not go Up and Out, saying, "I will get a new group of men to work
with." Nor did He go Down and Out by giving up. He died for the people to see them
redeemed. Move past self and flesh toward Christ. It is not a difficult
journey once the first step is taken.
Yellow – VIP, Very Important Point Green
– IT, Incredible Truth
Red – GP, Greatest Promises
Turquoise – UR, Unfathomable Riches Pink
– PV, Priceless Victory
The first thing that jumps out at me in
Matthew’s verses, quoting Jesus’ actual spoken words, is the three (3) mentions
of the word “believe” (Greek: pisteuo).
Jesus is so often quoted as asking why folks did not believe.
In his first paragraph Michael points out the
irony of the divisiveness of the natural
mind, which is NOT of God. And 99.9% of humankind never see this!
Well, the rest speaks for itself. May the
Lord speak to each of us as He sees fit, and works as only His Grace can do to
free us from any self-centeredness.
Lee McDowell Christian Ministries
P.O. Box 633244 Nacogdoches,
TX 75963 936-559-5696
